The Magic of Challenging Yourself

Exploring the Depths of Self and Life

Growing older is weird. To find out who the true George is, I must be willing to let go of everything and challenge my narrative. This is not easy, as it requires me to step outside my comfort zone and confront the things I may have been avoiding for some time.

Things like PTSD. Things like failure. Things like rejection. Things like fear. But in doing so, I can create opportunities for growth and self-discovery that can ultimately lead me to a deeper understanding of who I am and what I am capable of.

Last week I joined Crossfit. I’m wrecked, physically and mentally, in a good way. It feels like I’m connecting with parts of myself that I let go of over the last year of my life. Pushing myself beyond self-doubts and limitations reminds me of how precious life is. To live, I must earn it.

Speaking of earning it, single parenting is kicking me in the ass, so I started therapy again. I have to relive much of what I have written about this time through the VA. It sucks.

I worry about the impact of my struggles on my daughter and do my best not to let my story become hers. I also fear this constant struggle and addiction to the chase is all there is to life because life feels like I am primarily in survival mode.

Perhaps the void I feel is due to my inability to sit with myself, accept what is, and be grateful without always wanting more. But maybe I’m not waiting for something better but simply wondering if I matter.

Lately, I find myself reaching out to people and seeking answers, hoping their validation will calm my anxieties and give me a sense of self-worth. I write about topics in life, hoping that others will agree with me and help me feel like I matter. But as far as I know, no one reads my shit anyways.

But the truth is, the answers I seek will not come from external sources. I may not know who I…

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