Is That A Reasonable Boundary or Narcissistic Control?

While setting boundaries can be a healthy and necessary part of any relationship, a narcissist may use this as an excuse to justify their controlling behavior.

Narcissists are known for their manipulative behavior, and one tactic they may use to control others is to cloak their actions in the guise of setting reasonable boundaries. While setting boundaries can be a healthy and necessary part of any relationship, a narcissist may use this as an excuse to justify their controlling behavior.

One way that a narcissist may use boundary-setting as a cover for control is by establishing boundaries that are arbitrary or unreasonable. For example, they may insist on knowing your whereabouts at all times, demand that you respond to their messages immediately, or limit your contact with other people. These boundaries may seem reasonable at first, but upon closer inspection, they are designed to restrict your freedom and keep you under their control.

Another tactic that a narcissist may use is to set boundaries that are inconsistent or unpredictable. They may change the rules or expectations without warning, leaving you feeling confused and uncertain about what is expected of you. This can make it difficult for you to establish a sense of autonomy or make decisions without seeking their approval.

Narcissists may also use boundary-setting as a way to project their own insecurities onto others. For example, they may accuse you of being unfaithful or dishonest, insisting that they need to set boundaries to protect themselves from your behavior. This can create a toxic dynamic in which you are constantly trying to prove your loyalty or trustworthiness, while the narcissist continues to set unreasonable boundaries as a means of control.

To spot these behaviors, it’s important to be aware of the signs of narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissists tend to have an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration and attention. They may also be manipulative, exploitative, and lack boundaries themselves.

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