The Art of Graceful Disagreement

Don’t lock horns; you can just show each other the horns.

Barack Obama was at the tail end of his second tenure as the President, and he was speaking at a campaign rally for Hillary Clinton. In the midst of his speech, a Trump supporter heckled, and the majority of the crowd started booing at him.

Obama was quick to point out how every American citizen is entitled to free speech and defended the heckler. He even went to the extent of pointing out how everyone gets stirred up for unnecessary reasons, and the country didn’t need it.

Obama definitely disagreed with the views of the person, but it didn’t stop him from being respectful. One look at the secret service agents and Obama could have gotten the heckler ousted, but he didn’t.

Our lives are filled with people with radically different views and there is a high chance for disagreements. But, we all have the power to disagree with grace and ensure the difference in opinions doesn’t hamper the relationship.

As Thomas Jefferson clearly put it:

Every time there is a disagreement, the instinct is to convince the other person why you are right. We are so emotionally attached to our principles, we find it difficult to accommodate anything that defies our belief system.

In this pursuit to persuade the other person, we are forgetting the golden rule of disagreeing: agree to disagree- the subtle art of tolerating the other person without having to accept their opinions.

Listening is a must-have in your communication arsenal as it gives you the opportunity to understand where a person is coming from and why they are probably disagreeing with you. There is also a high chance of the person’s views expanding your horizon of understanding. It is an easy tactic to understand the other side of the story — which we won’t voluntarily go looking for, as it is painful to unearth anything that can possibly challenge or wreck our crystallized belief system.

Harmony is usually equated to a condition of people having the same opinions and agreeing with each other. But, that’s unrealistic and that is precisely why achieving peace and harmony is so difficult.

Look around at the chaos that is surrounding us, and the reason can be boiled down to people’s inability to accommodate a differing opinion and not disagreeing gracefully.

A harmonious society won’t be possible if the path chosen to reach that goal is to convince people or even oppress them to believe in a singular opinion. Our genes aren’t identical, and it is a disgrace to nature to even expect others to have similar opinions.

Thank you for reading!

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