I Challenge You to a Friendly Chat With Telemarketers

In Peru, I learned many new ways to be kind to both strangers and loved ones.

My friend and I were eating a home-cooked lunch on a cold day in the outskirts of Lima. Her phone rang. “Umm-hmm. Um-hmm. No, no, at the moment, no. Yes, I understand, I am busy at the moment. I thank you for your call in any case. Thank you so much, I appreciate it. I do apologize. Bye-bye, have a good day.”

Who was it? I asked, between mouthfuls. It turned out to be a telemarketer trying to sign her up for a new phone plan.

My fork balanced suspended in the air. I was shocked. My friend was so personable, kind, and patient with them, and during the sacred Peruvian hour of lunchtime no less.

I notice that such kindness is common with telemarketers in Peru. Why get mad at someone who is doing their job, just trying to earn a living? I’m sure they don’t love doing these cold calls, either.

I like how Peruvians speak in gentle and considerate ways, even to strangers. Non-violent communication assumes goodwill. I believe Peruvian forms of speech offer great examples of non-violent communication. Take these examples:

Food is the most important thing in Peru. You can start any conversation about food and make a friend. Most conversations you overhear on busses go like this, “Hi, how are you? What did you eat for lunch? What fruits should I buy at the market? What are you eating for dinner?” Asking if someone has eaten means you care about their wellbeing, and talking about food means acceptance.

I remember the first time I offered my Peruvian friend and coworker some chips, she ate half the bag! I was a little taken aback. But then I realized, that’s how people are here. Half for you, half for me. This was in contrast to a friend I had in the States. At breakfast, she pulled out a small portion of tasty-looking food tofu, noodles, and broccoli. When I asked if I could have some, she said, “There isn’t enough for both of us,” so she ate it all. In Peru, it’s more like, there isn’t enough for both of us, but we will both share equally.

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