Rules For Using Tax Payer Money

SATIRE

There are rules, right?

The Arizona Diamond Backs are asking for millions of dollars from taxpayers to remodel ‘their’ stadium.

Charter School ‘Executives’ are supplying subpar educations to thousands of students while pocketing millions of taxpayers' dollars.

Politicians, lawmakers, law enforcers, sports teams, tech companies, insurance companies, non-profits; they all have something in common.

They all depend on taxpayer money. Either in the form of subsidies or by paying lower taxes themselves through deals and loopholes.

And, they pay themselves really, really well for doing so. They smile so sweetly as they reach into the taxpayers' pocket and fish for whatever pennies they can take, telling you it’s for the greater good and you’ll thank them for this later. You know, when they come asking for more.

Not that there aren’t rules as to who can get what, when they dip into the taxpayer's wallet. There just needs to be some really hard set ones, to begin with.

First, no one within the company or organization should make more than — or less than — $75,000 annually as wages, salary, incentives, gifts, you name it, per year. From the President/CEO to the worker throwing popcorn at a ball game, they all make $75,000. Even the players on the teams. Yes, that’s right: Professional Athletes making $75,000 a year.

I’ve been laying out my case for this:

How much money is enough? For those dipping into the taxpayers' pockets while cashing six and seven-figure checks, no amount seems to be enough.

It’s too much for this taxpayer.

When everyone within the company or club or organization is earning no more, and no less than $75,000 per year, then a lot of things could happen:

Ticket prices could be more affordable, meaning more people would be able to come to the games.

A percentage of the “Profits” could-SHOULD- go towards education that doesn’t focus on becoming an athlete, but instead focuses on what our world needs more of: People who can figure out what the problem is and then how to solve it, like pollution, world hunger, cancer, war, global warming, mass migration due to poverty and crime…

“Profits” could-SHOULD- also be set aside for improvements, otherwise known as remodeling, relieving the taxpayer from having to pay for something they currently can’t afford to enjoy.

They could also use some of those “PROFITS” to make sure every employee has the same great health insurance so when they get sick they can jet off to Canada to have the best treatment too, just like those in the C-Suite.

Look up what your state pays your Senators on Ballotpedia.org. Salaries range from $200 per year for 2 years of service in New Hampshire, a part-time position, to $107,241 a year, plus $192 for each day in session, a full-time position (and quite a sweet deal!) in California.

Would making the salary a flat $75K for every elected official be a good idea? I’m thinking the people in New Hampshire might think so, but the people in California where it costs an arm and a leg to live making less? I bet there’d be some complaining.

It would also be interesting as to what kind of people would run, and not run, for office knowing that’s the top salary they’ll ever earn.

Would it make career politicians a thing of the past? Do they earn more, the longer they’re in office? Maybe the bigger bank accounts come with time and connections made while in office. A little land deal here. A house on an island there. He who owns the land and all…

Death might be too harsh for a first offense. But what about losing a finger or a hand and have to pay back any amount over the $75,000 salary/income cap? I think that would stop the problem of reaching into someone else’s pockets to line your own, don’t you?

At least make them do time in the prisons they farm labor operations out to, so they can keep expenses down and profit margins wide and still be able to put a sticker that proudly reads “Made in the USA” on the label. Take away their voting rights. The missing finger or hand would definitely be a ‘red flag’ (Scarlette letter?) as to who can be trusted and who can’t.

Here’s another way I use the punishment of missing digits. I should probably look into the history of this punishment, the consequences, and if the results are worth it.

And maybe see a shrink.

But the multimillionaires need a new stadium and my insurance doesn’t cover visits to mental health professionals.

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